Friday, October 4, 2013

Shade Just Now

I'm shaky again about the writing. I feel at times like this is silly and I'm not making progress. I need a dose of courage. I don't have resources. I'm chasing a wild dream.
I ordered copies of my book today, but not as many as I wanted. Lord, I pray like the fishes, multiply my efforts. I got a message that a friend wrote a review after he read Summer Triangle. This added a boost to my doubts.
Prospective covers for Main Street, waited for me in e-mail tonight. The idea I have doesn't seem to transfer to a cover. I like one, but I don't feel it conveys what I want to express. I wish I were an artist, too, or had that wand to make it exactly how I see it. I don't want to doubt Teddi's expertise, but my heart speaks to me, too. I guess creative people listen to inner thoughts.
I wonder about my nursing career, too. I don't feel right about what I'm doing, but I see no other choices at the present. Again, those bills must be paid and I can't complain. I have a nagging discontent, not hate or even dislike, I feel something is amiss.
Maybe the weather has been too humid for the beginning of October. I like the heat and I never want to say good bye to summer. Today with thunder storms an oppression fell on me. Yet, I heard on the radio from Anne Graham Lotz that God is in the darkness, too. He called Moses into the darkness to see His glory.
I trust my Lord. He promised bread not stones. I know my father continually gave us the best he could, not only material possessions, but emotionally as well.  My heavenly Father gives so much more.
So as I deal with doubts, I pray to see Jesus in my dimness. I don't feel dark, but a shade covers the light. And maybe, I need that shade just now.

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