It's Still Empty

My post from January 2 described my picture for 2012. I haven't found the real picture, yet. In my mind a wooden yoke sits in a forest with the dawning sun shining through it. This is the yoke of Jesus I'm to wear.
Three weeks later, I looked at that picture in my mind and thought, it's still empty.
I haven't truly taken that yoke upon me. I'm plotting and planning my own life, being anxious, wanting better. I haven't let Jesus guide me. I haven't yielded to His purpose. I stress if my page view numbers don't grow. I think about business cards. I'm bombarded with a million ideas about publishing, networking, platforming. I'm tired at the end of a busy day, driving and caring for the homebound. So many are depressed and my words seem to fall on unreceptive ears. I barely have time to breathe, it seems, and I don't write on my novel.
I need to write more than this blog. I don't want to give up on you, readers. I love that you pay me heed. Thank you. A nagging thought runs around in the back of my mind. Write before you worry about all these trappings. Do the best at the job you hold now. It is preparation for the publishing world of total lunacy, at least from what I can tell.
But most of all I need to put my neck in that empty yoke. I need to rest in Jesus.
My take away from this last webinar is write to make a difference. Give back. Funny that is what I'm telling my depressed patients, and have been for years. Give back, pray for the new people you meet, teach your grandchildren, enjoy the weather. Reach out to others and the focus will be less on you and your problems. Is anyone listening? Am I?