Anticipation about an event now seems to deflate. I'm just not sure about what is happening and I feel flat. And I really don't want to write about it, but I do. I'm sorting through feelings.
How often does that happen? As kids we almost wish our lives away, waiting for summer vacation, spring break, graduation, Christmas. Young adults wait impatiently for higher education to be done, first high paying job, marriage, babies.Then we wait till retirement. And these things happen and are over as quick as a day, a moment. The packages left in tatters of wrappings soon on the shelf, no more intriguing.
I didn't want to think of this in the spiritual realm. Yet, how often does the service leave me wanting more? Either, I have a cold or am just tired. I wonder how my family is reacting. Will they want to leave? I wonder, too, how this is affecting everyone else. Are we ready for a change?
I think this is human existence on earth. We are programed to want more than this life, even in a moving church service. Yes, we are to pray, "Thy Kingdom come, on earth as it is in Heaven." In Heaven, there is no sickness, disease or sorrow. Yet, these occur even to believers here on earth. I believe in healing. I have seen it. Sometimes, though, I wonder if going through troubles is what is supposed to happen to strengthen us. Are we ready for the miracle?
Katie has trouble with the book of Job. I'm just amazed at the last chapters when God addresses Job. God is sovereign and we were not there when He formed the earth. God spoke to Job, but didn't really answer the why of his sufferings. Yet He restored his fortunes.
I am longing for Heaven. God has set eternity in our hearts. We are always homesick, whether we realize it or not.