I finally went to the doctor this week for tachycardia, rapid heart rate, that was also giving me symptoms. Initial findings, not a heart attack or gall bladder- my concerns. If anyone knows me, I do not like to go to the doctor's because I feel it is most likely stress and I can handle that myself. I don't want to be on medications and don't want to draw attention to myself with tests that make me have to call off. I'm waiting this weekend for the results of blood work I had done. With the rate being so fast, I feel it may be my thyroid and since my mother had cancer of this gland in her fifties, I like to have it checked often, like every day, if I could.
I read Luke 10:38-42 this morning about Martha and Mary. I can imagine the scene, Jesus shows up, unannounced, with twelve of His closest friends and with a few of those tag alongs, as well. In the version I read this morning, Contemporary English Version, it sounded like Martha hadn't started anything, yet. She had immersed herself in the planning stages. Mary, her sister, plops herself down and looks at Jesus while He is teaching.
How often am I in the Lord's presence, yet my mind is racing ahead to what I can do? I can be in a Mary body, you know, sitting right with Jesus, yet I'm not looking at Him. I wake up from sound sleep, should be relaxed and my heart is racing and pounding in my chest as I plan my day, as I, like Martha, think of the multitude of tasks to do for anything. And reminded of the many things I didn't do yesterday.
Growing up, I always heard Jesus say, "Oh, Martha, Martha, quit your worrying. Mary chose the better thing." It was an either or in my ears. I wanted to be like Mary. I want to put Jesus first.
Years later, as I read the story of Martha in John 11, I had a new insight into her relationship with Jesus. She ran to Jesus about her brother's death. Mary sat back with the mourners. Jesus loved Martha-Martha, whom He loved. She sought Him in her hour of need and showed her knowledge as well as faith in the Messiah.
Jesus loves us all. He cares and does not want us to be anxious. Be anxious in nothing, but in everything with prayer and thanksgiving, bring your requests to the Lord. Philippians 4:6.
So, I try with my body in the Mary position of waiting on the Lord. My heart, too, can calm down, as I like Martha run to Jesus, yet wait for His answer. I need to be both Martha and Mary.