End of Year Jitters

Sitting here at the computer, feeling like my dream is unattainable. I'm glad I try to ignore feelings. This morning, I could have conquered the world.
My body is tired. I believe it fought a virus that my great niece Gracie gave to Mary Ellen, but since Tuesday, I didn't throw up. Holiday week and one nurse already out with that "stomach flu" I couldn't give in to my gut. Tums, Tums, Tums and finding food to settle that pain, didn't work. Just grabbed my gut, rubbed my head and traveled on. No chunks at all,though, made me very happy.
I read all these articles on improving my writing. I read, but feel it is never enough. Been reading much on C.S. Lewis. Why haven't I read more of his books? I've read the Space Trilogy, Screwtape Letters, well, John Cleese did, and I scan through Mere Christianity. Listened to all the Chronicles of Narnia from Focus on the Family, and of course, thrilled at the movies, especially the first one.
I want to find my picture for the year and blog on that for Mary DeMuth's page. I feel my goals should have been set already and etched somewhere. Have I asked for time off for the St. David's Writer Conference, yet? Do I even know when it is? I forget to check that out. I did sign up for a teleconference Thursday evening with Jerry Jenkins and skimmed through the free download from his book this morning.
No wonder I sometimes resent my job. I have this dream to be an author and goals to make it happen. Then, the job gets busy and physically I'm down, need sleep, but can't relax in the mornings. Tomorrow, I'm on call, then two days off.
Ah, feelings, now I feel so much better. I need to write. Trust and a little bit of pixie dust? Will I fly this year? Keep my nose to the ground and work hard is the best I can do. Seat time writing will bring those goals closer. End of year jitters and excitement. Anything can happen, but then any time, anything can happen. So deep breath, knowing to do my best at everything. Love at all times and reach out to those in need.