A post I wrote on the long lasting effects of child abuse:
Scars endure a long time. Last night, I held a ninety six year old's
hand as she had a break down. Strength holds most of the time. Memories
attack some days. Her mother was a widow with seven children, when she
had an affair. She allowed herself to become pregnant thinking the man
would marry her. Instead, he flew away.
The scars of never being
kissed by a mother, until the last moments before her death rub raw some
days. Never feeling the love of a mother haunt her. Only in the last
moments of life, did the mother acknowledge her youngest daughter's
stamp on her life, "I don't know what I would have done without you." With that declaration,
the single caregiver in her mother's final illness, she received the
only kiss on her cheek.
I've known this story for a year, yet
tears still form in my eyes. Most days, she doesn't mention her hard
childhood. She resembled her father and her mother resented her. The
half brothers and sisters ignored her. She found love in her husband and
three daughters, but the deep well of love never full because of a
mother's lack of love, along with never knowing her father's name.
think the problems we have today are unique to this generation, but
they are not. I only think that maybe they are much more common than the
generations before now. My mother suffered abuse, her older brother
more. As I work with the elderly, I find more and more, they didn't have
the wonderful Norman Rockwell environment that we love to believe.
Alcohol ruins many families throughout the centuries. Unwanted children
I only urge us to watch our words with children.
I know a smiling face, like Teddy's, covers tears. But sometimes late at
night, a comforting hand years later uncovers the tears. Teddy never
will live to ninety six. Some abused children survive. Be kind. Stories creep
behind those faces you see every day.