Saturday, April 12, 2014

I Don't Trust the Weather (or Much Else)

It may be sixty and sunny
But I don't trust you,
Weather that's funny
The wind blows grit
My eyes may get hit.

Feelings lie, too.
I wake refreshed,
then memories crash into me.
And my back smacks me.
The SUV sucks bucks
From an already diminished supply
One blow after another
I can't move.
 
I feel weak and a failure
I'm fatigued from the fight.
I'm tired of the fight
I'm tired of not wanting to fight
I'm tired of waking to no ambition,
no gumption for the audition.
I don't want to believe anything
It can only get worse before it gets better.
If it gets better.

Walk.
I don't trust this weather.

Write
a Big Bite
I'm numb
No fight
No fear
No feeling
Just writing and looking at a screen
Words come from the middle
Words that mean nothing
I don't think
I don't feel
I don't trust.
I don't rhyme
I don't chime
I don't have time.
I don't want to put myself out there.

The dog scratches
I neglect him
I must move
I must trust the blue skies
and walk him.
I'll use something of this,
But not today.

I walk.
Jesus and I talk
Chin up
Pray
It will be Okay.
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