As I started yesterday to write, I have had many ideas bombarding my head, but my focus to formulate a public writing piece met with several obstacles. The frequent one a grinding tiredness overtaking my body and emotions. The kind that manifests itself with crying at the drop of a hat- even when no one is dropping a hat.
I do totally agree with feelings are not a ruler. Yet, in late spring, early summer, as that daylight grows, I find sleep elusive. I want to do. Wake in the early sunshine. Some days that was the only sunshine I'd see all day, so I cultivated gratitude with the early wakefulness. I also wind down at night after work. In the winding down, I'd find stimulating material to absorb like a sponge.
The last few weeks as more and more controversial topics arose, I held back commenting. I know what I believe, but will it come out hateful I cautioned. Some days, I remind myself, limit reading only to the Bible. Refrain from commentaries either conservative or liberal. Go to the Word.
I came back to Jesus always asking, "What do you want?" "Do you want to be healed?" "Be careful, you don't sin worse." Jesus healed, but He asked, "Do you really want to change?" And He was always and foremost concerned about sinning and our relationship with the Father. Read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. He came for salvation and getting right with His Father, not our happiness. I'm not saying, we won't have happiness if we surrender to Him. I do have life and life more abundantly.
The Gospel is about surrender. We pray, "Thy will be done." in the Lord's prayer. As we surrender, we become a new creation. The old passes away and the new comes in. In some people this is an overnight sensation. My father smoked cigarettes before, as we called it then, he was born again. Someone asked him for a cigarette, he handed over the whole pack tucked away in his shirt pocket, "Take the pack, I won't be needing them any more."
Dad, though, still understood the power of nicotine addiction. He often say it was the hardest thing to overcome. But that is the joy of salvation, it is not our strength, but Jesus in us. We are over-comers.
A person must come to the end of himself sometimes to accept that change. We are all born sinners. Children do not have to be taught how to be bad. Adults teach them the rules of life, how to be good, kind and considerate. All sin and come short of the glory of God.
As church people, though, our conversations about the leadership in our church can be misconstrued. What we hold for our leaders is not the standard to enter our doors. Too often it is heard that way by those looking into our doors. Come in, should be our invitation and allow the Holy Spirit by the Word of God do the convicting. As Jesus always asked, "Do you want to be healed?" We have to admit we need Him first. It's all about surrender and losing our life, so we may gain it.