Saturday, September 3, 2011

That Bastard Cancer

First, I want to explain that my mother discovered her thyroid cancer with mets when I was twenty. My father died of leukemia when I was 28. The shadow of cancer covered our lives since my mother's baby sister died of uterine cancer when she was 33. The big C was all you needed to hear for fear and dread and despair to grab your heart.
In the 70's all the movies had someone dying of cancer. It was vague sometimes what type it was. And who looked more beautiful in death than Ali McGraw, maybe she was secretly a vampire. It was some blood type of cancer in the script.
By my senior year of nursing school, so many of our patients battled cancer. We hypothesized the cause came from all the steel mills in our region. I can remember the sky turning black at noon on Broadway in Farrell, PA when the slag was dumped. The first time it woke me at night, I thought the Second Coming happened. I was told stories of how black the window sills were. Before all the scrubbers were imposed, those pollutants permeated the air, water and dirt.
Wonderful people, strong men reduced to skin and bones, Amish woman unknowing about breast cancer and begging me to teach her breast self exam, so her daughters could have knowledge to fight it early, dear mothers, all were victims. Education was the key. We taught the 7 warning signs. Chemo and radiation savaged the body. One day after class, in a group of students rounding the corner from the education wing to the dorms, one of them screamed, "I hate that Bastard!" Farther down the hall, teachers and the director of our school for some reason were on the floor. The director turned around, with a stern voice, asked, "What did you say?" Remember in the early 80's we didn't hear swearing everywhere, like we do now. Saying Bastard in a public place, even though it was our home, produced a stir. The senior nurse, emboldened with frustrated anger, shouted back, "Cancer, I hate Cancer!" Mrs. Jenkins quietly returned, "Well, we can't argue with that."
All that to say, I take cancer seriously. After many years, though, praise God, I know more survivors than losers. So in a way, I'm weary now of the trivialization of cancer awareness. What does it really mean to put on a ribbon, wear pink, write sexual innuendo on your facebook status? Yet to even question in this climate creates a distrust that somehow I don't care. Or we are making fun of cancer and that is not cool. No, I wonder about people following the latest trend like sheep is one more example of the dumbing down of our culture.
To even write this though is I'm sure perceived as somehow making light of cancer, not the insipid way of Raising Cancer Awareness.My favorite PSA against cancer was Yul Brenner's urging us not to smoke. That was powerful.
Many things do prevent cancer. Yet, how do you explain the 8 month old baby that died the day Mary Ellen was born? Why at 3 months did Michael develop kidney cancer? There are mysteries. Guilt kept me away from that mother. I felt Mary Ellen's newborn beauty would be a constant reminder of her loss. I'm sure I was wrong, but I avoided her. The church prayed all the time for that little guy, yet cancer consumed him.
Cancer is a bastard. We are making progress. We need to support research. I ran for Miss Hope of Lawrence County in my junior year of nursing school. I've sat in the American Cancer Society office stuffing envelopes. I've sold daffodils. I could do more. I could give more. But putting a sexual innuendo on my Face book status does nothing for me and I'm sorry if this offends you. That Bastard Cancer offends me.
We must remember though, someday, even he will have to bend his knee at the name of Jesus. That is the real day of cure.

12 comments:

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

Well to put my money where my "blog " is I'm going to donate $10 to American Cancer Society in honor of the passion show by Cassandra Lyon and Susan Marie Lyon Lyon and $5 for any other comments made on my blog about That Bastard Cancer. It was written in love, but love is an action and now I putting action in my words. So $5 per comment with the cutoff 9/15. Is anyone up to the challenge? $10 to start for passion!!!!!

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

At my blog or on Facebook or email me at lyonmissmollie@aol.com

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

Cassandra Lyon i ony have one thing to say: i have seen more cancer and loss of cancer than any 16 year old girl should. i know what its like it worry and go through personal loss from it. 3 grandmothers and aunt a friend from school and many more are battling it right now. no we are not making fun of cancer, because every time we read one of those we remember over and over what its all about. we have a football game next weekend where EVERY player,band kid, cheerleader is changing what they do to support a girl who should be in her freshman year but is instead sitting in a hospital in pittsburg with so much pain and she is even now blind. we don't forget. we all know whats going on. we aren't sheep. we don't do it because we want to follow a trend we do it to remember. its when we forget and stop wearing pink, and ribbons and forget writing silly things on our facebook walls that theres a problem, because then we know that no one cares. i pray very night for cancer victims. you can't just say we are being silly and make fun of

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

Susan Marie Lyon In my job I watch people get ravaged by cancer every day. not to mention the personal loss within my own family. Alot of people don't understand just how much these people struggle, sometimes for every breath for days and months on end! If putting a "silly" post as my facebook status makes one person wonder what that's all about, and do a little research, than it's worth it. It really isn't about following the rest of the sheep any more than a prayer chain at church. The more people that understand the more people that do something. whether it's putting themselves on the bone marrow donors list or just sending a card to someone they know that is fighting cancer. Awareness raises action. People can't help with what they don't know about. If sexual innuendos on your screen bothers you then scroll past them and ignore them.

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

even the methods.. if i go out and run around the streets dressed as a clown handing out papers about cancer its me making my point, yes i might not do it the way you do but its my way of supporting my cause. you have no right to make fun of the way we do what we believe in
From Cassandra Lyon

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

8 1/2 inches in 2 minutes
Like · · 01 September at 21:43 · Privacy:
Kathleen M Steeg Now that's an odd statement!!!!
01 September at 23:59 · Like
Mollie Lyon another raise Breast Cancer awareness campaign?
Friday at 07:26 · Like
Katie Lyon No, Mom, it's jcancer. We need to be aware of jcancer. It's sad how many people aren't aware of jcancer, the best way to spread that awareness is to be completely oblique about what we're doing.
Friday at 08:59 · Like
Susan Marie Lyon not sure why you are so amused by anything having to do with cancer
This is what prompted me to write this posting. Yet, wearing a clown outfit is somehow not being amused. If we care so much about a cause, should we not be careful with typos? I won't even get into grammar or spelling.
But because I sounded critical and I did feel badly, although, I did preface with how cancer affected my life and I keep thinking and I didn't say half of it. So many families ravaged. I just felt for myself, a quick little facebook comment was not enough. Read- for myself. After a half wonderful day mostly because I felt I would be fodder for Sunday dinner at the Lyon household. I prayed and prayed about it and like a drop from heaven, I decided I would donate money for each comment made about my blog and then went with the challenge to donate $5 for each comment and $10 each for Cassandra and Susan showing such a vehement response to my blog. I am raising cancer awareness my way and putting money where my words are.

Bizzybee1 said...

We've had many Family & Friends who've lost the fight with cancer and some who have been battling it one day at a time while others seem to have beat it. Sadly, no one is immune! Thank God for all those who work with Cancer Patients and even donate their personal time to try and make a difference. My sister is a chief radiation therapist in MD hospital and has seen it all too. Her inspiration for her career was watching her best friend being taken away by the evil beast at a young age. Now her best friend has been battling it for over 10 yrs. The worst for me was visiting my Godmother/Aunt while in hospice care in her home last year. Always Praying for a cure!! Thank you Mollie for all you do!!

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

Thank you. Up to $45. 8 days to go!

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

Kendyl Shaffer lost her fight to cancer 9/8/11 in the evening. The football game tomorrow night at Cameron County High School that was to be in her support will now be in her memory.

Chris said...

I wear a bracelet almost every day that has a cancer ribbon on it and has the poem "What Cancer Can Not Do" inscribed on it. To me that is my symbol that I took on Hodgkin's Lymphoma and won... for now. I am a cancer patient in remission. I wonder how many people understand...I am a survivor that wakes up every morning and checks every lymph node that I can feel to make sure I am ok. I go to bed every night and pray that my loved ones and friends never have to hear those condemning words, you have cancer, never have to sit for hours while the doctors pump poison into their bodies (yes it stops the cancer, but it erodes self confidence, zaps strength, causes a host of other problems that I can not even begin to describe), watch my daughter's grades plummet in her junior year of high school because all she could focus on was that her mother was sick, the horror of picking out a wig and wondering for almost 2 years if it looks real enough, laying in bed at night and dealing with depression, self doubt and fear. These are thoughts that I have never written down before because I could not. I still worry every day that the cancer will come back. When I wear a cancer pin or my bracelet it is a symbol of hope and a reminder of the strength, love and prayers from my friends and family, which without their support, I would not have had the courage or strength to fight.

My most interesting cancer moment was someone saying to me, "You don't look sick." How do you respond to that comment when you just spent hours in the bathroom trying to cover up the fact that your skin is pale, you don't have any eyelashes or eyebrows, and you had to fight with the wig that wasn't cooperating. (It gives a new definition to a bad hair day)I hope I responded with dignity when I said thank you, I will take that as a compliment... when I wanted to say, come a little closer and I will throw up on you.

Every time I see someone wear a cancer ribbon pin, I wonder about their story... because... weather a cancer patient or a friend or family member of one... every story of cancer is a heartbreaking one.

Yes I agree that cancer is a bastard. I have a shirt that says Cancer Sucks! I wear it because cancer claimed the life of a friend of mine. The shirt I bought at a benefit that the Eagles held for him. The money raised allowed him to do something that he loved one last time before he died. I wear that shirt with pride.

I fully support cancer research, but I donate more to benefits for a person.

Please remember as you read this post... there are only three things that can fully battle cancer: Love, Positive Thinking and the Power of Prayer, the medical treatments care for the body and the rest care for the person's spirit.

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

Thank you, Chris. I love you, my own Anne of Green Gables. Every story brings hope.

Miss Mollie's Musings said...

If anyone comments with my newest post, I will again donate to American Cancer Society and you can keep it for your trip! After Jan. 8, 2012.