Saturday, June 27, 2015

I Am Humble


  I am humble.  I prayed over yesterday's celebration of pride. I am not proud. I am humble. This image with those words floated in my mind this morning as I woke.
Maybe I am one of the dinosaurs. Maybe I have not as our president has, evolved. I read, I listen. I am not swayed, although, I am afraid of being judged, just as those say I am judging because I cannot embrace this pride celebration.
I am humble. This man has loved me for thirty five years. I am not always pretty or nice. I can be downright ugly and offensive. My tongue flashes mean words, dirty words and degrading words. My husband reminds we, "We are known by our love." I hear his meaning of the Christian song from the 1970's. He teaches.
Our love grows instead of diminishes. We have had hard times. Sometimes a snippet of the man I fell in love would knock me over during those times we struggled with children, housekeeping, and life. I remembered the early love and that would carry me through. Now that shared love multiplied over and over, as different hardships challenged our union.
As an irritations arose, he reminded me,again and again, of the vows we made "before God and four hundred people." He continues to always love me. He wants the best for me.
Some may say all should have this. I understand, but I can't embrace it.
Makes me a hater, I suppose. I don't know Jesus teachings, I'm told. But instead of fighting using the arguments heard all over, I prayed. I am humble. God loves the humble. Read that how you want.
These verses in Proverbs 30 resounded in my mind this morning as well:

18There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Four which I do not understand: 19The way of an eagle in the sky, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the middle of the sea, And the way of a man with a woman.
And from Ephesians 5:

 31FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

These are only my reflections in the deep quiet of an early morning of a gloomy day. I shied from expressing them. I, like many, have close relatives not embracing these ideas. I love them. I will never turn away any in my professional nursing. Currently, I have a convicted pedophile sometimes in my care. I have to medicate him, help him hold a glass of water and treat him like any other.
I am humble.

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