This morning's awakening
thoughts pondered on what to wear to church. I knew the basic was a
red turtle neck and tan pants, since I wore the charcoal ones over
the weekend with a red sweater. A beige sweater would complement the
outfit for this cold day, but I wished I had Grandma's sweater. Mary Ellen commandeered it and made it her own.
Also six weeks post op |
Grandma's sweater. I
chuckled a bit. I don't remember Grandma ever wearing it. I believe
we found it on a cloyingly hot summer's day in the upstairs of her
old house, most likely still in the plastic. Some one gave it to her
and like her gifts, she kept them for later, a day she may need them.
She had night gowns and house coats waiting in case she would go to
the hospital.
On that day, after she died
and we were cleaning out her house, which had been Uncle Bill's, and
briefly Andrea's, then my mom's, I climbed the enclosed stairs I
hadn't been up since my early childhood. Humidity and heat rose with
me without any air conditioning in August. I found the job of
searching through the cedar chest. A thick braid of hair, now faded,
lay there with dust. Mom remarked, “Oh, that's from when she bobbed
her hair. Don't you want it, Mollie? She really had the most
beautiful blond hair.”
I shuddered, “Dead hair?
No way.”
So I think Grandma's sweater
came down to me from that day. A pearl knit serviceable white, most
likely rayon, with white plastic buttons., not stylish or pretty in a
fancy way, provided a dense warmth. Hanging down, it wrapped around
me in comfort, because it was from Grandma's. Truly the only thing
that made it special was saying, it was my grandmother's. Plus the warmth made it a favorite.
I thought of that sweater
this frigid morning. Wondering where it was. Probably in Mary Ellen's
room. She had it on the other day. The buttons fell off or were taken
off. She replaced the top one with an ornate gold button and left the
rest of it buttonless. She loves it because of the warmth.
Years later in my home
health travels, I parked in front of the garage Grandma rented to the
Westinghouse worker. Dad always careful to not block the renter in,
as Mom reminded him every time.
Westinghouse left. New
people lived here. I had taken care of the woman before at another
daughter's home a few blocks over in Sharon. Now, she was much worse,
dying. Her bed was in Grandma's old room, where Grandma laid
listening to the radio all night on a lumpy bed. I slept there a few
times with her. I still remember the eucalyptus aroma as she rubbed
the ointment on her sore joints.
Funny how a house can look
different with new owners, but yet I saw glimpses of Grandma. It had
been ten years, I think, since she had died or almost that many. The
old lady, I visited that day, rested in a bed set up the same direction
Grandma's was, looking out onto North Oakland Avenue through the
front door and windows. We used that porch to watch the Memorial Day parades
for a few years. I guess if Grandma used both floors, her bedroom would have been the living room. She always rented, first the downstairs, then the upstairs, until the last renters proved to be druggies and someone put a stop to her renting out part of the house.
I'm home from church, now.
I'm wondering where that sweater is. I'm cold. I found it and it is
as warm and cozy as I remember. Mary Ellen stretched the sleeves.
Otherwise, it is still Grandma's sweater.
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